Flashback: Bryan Adams

A good friend provided a much needed distraction tonight. Sure, you might think that distraction was the dinner we ate or the concert we listened to or the conversation we had or the best firework show I've ever seen live...but you'd be wrong.

The best part of the night was the flashback playlist that he shared on his iPhone. My personal favorite:

Bryan Adams, Everything I Do

Trust me, it's worth linking away for!

Na Na Na Na...Hey Hey Hey...Goodbye!

After 14 l-o-n-g days, there is no love lost taking this stuff off and shipping it back to the doctor. Good riddance!

Beauty Tip Turned Medical Tip

I've been using an oil based eye make-up remover for years...to remove eye make-up of course.

But this week I've found a brilliant second use for the good stuff...medical tape residue remover!!!!

Whoo Hoo!!!

It came to my attention when, after 10 days of removing the goo left on my skin from EKG leads and medical tape with an apricot face scrub (hey! maybe i'm not so new to this dual usage stuff!?!?), my skin had begun to scream at me. I had developed these nasty scabs and rashes (TMI?) where the leads attached, and couldn't bring myself to continuing to use the same technique. The make-up remover was sitting on my bathroom counter and I dabbed a little on some of the sticky and, voila! magic!

Hopefully you never have to put this to the test and can just take my word for it...cause I really don't wish this kind of torture on anyone.

p.s. only 1 more day with the monitor!!!!

p.s.s. that darned battery that was never going to need replacing? yeah, i just replaced it for the 3rd time...but this time the spare was in my car and not an hour a way!

Good News!

My very first sister (in-law) is a gorgeous, feminine woman who is a fantastic example of everything ladylike. And while whipping up magic in the kitchen, has been a fabulous mother to three darling boys...sporting sassy platform shoes the entire time!

Today we found out that her 4th is a GIRL!

I know that gender isn't supposed to matter but I am so excited for the next addition to the Denney clan. I can't wait to see this little princess grow up to be the spitting image of her mother and the pride of her father!

First Casualty

Ever since I started taking a blood thinner twice a day, I've been paranoid about papercuts and running into doorways. I never thought that an IV would have been the first evidence of the effects of the drug.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Jalopy Heart

One thing I've always been good at is medical tests. I know where EKG leads go, I know where my best veins are, I can hold still as long as needed, I don't panic, I'm patient, I have just enough personality to endear the techs to me...but I never get annoying or naggy.

But so far today, my lemon of a heart is betraying me at every turn. We really struggles getting an IV in, my heart rate was too bonkers for the treadmill and we had to default to drug induced stress, and a 15 minute imaging session just took me 45 minutes.

I'm only halfway through and hopeful that this poor behavior will end soon.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A Welcome Distraction

Tuachan!!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Greek Tragedy

This past week has piqued my imagination from a deep sleep.

The Scene (In My Head):

Mount Olympus, The Greek gods are tired and bored and tossing out ideas to keep them entertained. They arrive at the consensus that they would find one of Earth's most content mortals and see what kind of drama they can stir up.

Flash to Earth, I am found lounging by the pool communicating with friends new and old, talking of all of the books and plays and movies and conversations and adventures filling my every day. I have a beautiful tan, an infectious smile, and there is no line of stress to be found on my youthful face. I am grateful and happy and calm. I declare that I have found an inner peace that nothing can disrupt.

Mount Olympus, The gods explode in laughter at the sound of my declaration. Goddess Hygeia sends down a disease, then one by one, they up the ante. Tossing ridiculous complications at the already morbid situation, growing more hysterical and absurd with each one!

The Scene (In Reality):

Well, you've read the day by day. This past week has been a wicked divorce from the Utopia I had built. Exhausted and beaten last night, I crawl into Sassy's guest bed in Utah County...an hour from my home. At 1:30 a.m. the heart monitor and transmitter both beep at me. During initial set-up, the nurse assured me that while she included replacement batteries in my supply kit, I wouldn't be needing them...but the electronics disagreed. I had taken the nurses word as law and had not bothered to pack a battery with me...so, I assured myself that it was probably similar to my iPhone which notifies me when I'm at 20% (still plenty of power), and I roll over and fall back asleep. 90 minutes later, they squawk again for attention.

I stumble out of bed and search for Sassy's television remote control. Assuming that all AA batteries are created equal I swap them and head back to bed...only to find the notifications have quickened the pace...to 10 second intervals. I quickly dress and stumble out to my car just before 4:00 to make my way to the nearby grocery store. Disheveled and heralding my arrival with an angry machine attached to my body I beeline it for the battery isle. Turns out a 3.6 volt AA battery is not a mainstream luxury. I convince myself that the lithium battery will be an upgrade from the alkaline I stole from the remote and march to the check-out...where I find a very concerned checker anxious to usher me through.

The exchange makes no impact and I determine that Wal-Mart will be the source of my only life's wish...a 3.6 volt AA lithium battery. Wal-Mart is an epic fail and I find myself standing in the parking lot at 4:00 a.m. silently screaming inwardly as there is no reason to compete with the siren attached to my chest.

I am certain that my rapidly increasing heart-rate is only sucking the remaining juice of the battery more quickly and I do the only "rational" thing I can think of. I climb in my car and begin the 60 minute drive home. Was I worried about falling asleep at the wheel? HA! Not at all! The dead couldn't sleep through my medical alarm!

At this point, I am convinced that the next jab from a bored god is only minutes away and that I am destined to receive a traffic ticket. But either the gods were sleeping, or my cruise control was too powerful to be defeated...because I made it home, slipped inside, swapped the battery and then drank in the silence.

The story might have ended there as I climbed into the bed I was sitting on...but that wouldn't be interesting at all! See, I had stayed in Utah County so that I could drive Sassy and her mom to the airport this morning. Also, when I set off hours ago to fetch a battery, I never imagined that it would land me back in my beautiful bed...so I'd left my belongings, including the monitor charger, at Sassy's home. Then again, I did the only "rational" thing I can think of...crack a diet coke and get back in my car for an hour long return trip.

In Conclusion (In My Head...or Reality...You Make the Call):

My imagination is being overactive...and I have begun being overly dramatic. There is no sinister team of minions working against me, it just feels that way in the middle of the night. The batteries got replaced, I didn't wreck in a bad scene of drowsy driving, no state trooper clocked me speeding in a construction zone. The only consequence of the evening is being made known as the pitting edema (often exacerbated by lack of sleep) grows rapidly...putting a damper on my weekend wardrobe for sure!

Battle with a COBRA

It's been stinking of government programs for days. Today, it stank bad!

As part of my "severance" from my last employer, I was offered health insurance benefits through May with the option of COBRA to follow. I received the forms, signed my name and sent them back, along with payment, to the address indicated on every single page of the document.

I have had no claims or doctor visits and had no reason to doubt that things weren't moving along as promised. However, the return address was incorrect and the paperwork was never received. Additionally, the employer switched providers and never included me on the enrollments. Technically, I am uninsured.

Given the nature of my diagnosis, and the astronomical of the tests I've already taken and have scheduled, this is bad news. Even worse news, I have wicked pre-existing condition status. If there is one thing in my life that I am ever diligent about, it is my health insurance. It's not a joke to me and I know that the financial and physical consequences are bigger than anything I can conquer.

I've had to cancel the urgent tests and put my faith in an insurance broker that this will be resolved before the symptoms of my condition knock me flat. Although my former employer and the insurance broker assure me that in time (possibly another week) they will be able to sort it out, I am agitated and frustrated and feeling very much the victim today.

So, I have to look to myself and ask how I might have had a hand in arriving here. I am the one who asked for a greater measure of faith. This situation is clearly beyond my own control and, as reported by my contacts, it may be beyond their control as well. So the only action left for me to take is to exercise my faith. To humbly kneel and pray that it will be okay, in plenty of time, and that I won't continue to feel panicky or sorry for myself.

Tiny Glimmers

Today was mostly sad. No particular reason other than I'm just exhausted by optimism. I slumped around my routine today barely making a noticeable effort. I was pretty convinced that I was creeping toward the "dark side". And then, subconsciously I dialed up the band Oasis on Grooveshark.

I know this might seem insignificant, but Oasis was my life's theme music once. I had just finished up my time at BYU and spending a few months tying things up in Utah Valley before making the move to Denver. I had no concrete plan for my life...but I was hopeful...I was dreamfilled.

I hope my sub-conscious is trying to remind me that even though I've never really been good at dreaming big, I'm still allowed to.

Back It Up!

Yesterday's post was prematurely optimistic. I reported that I was improving....

The good news is, I'm maintaining a positive attitude? I wanted so badly to be better that I was convinced that I was...

The bad news is, the 24 hour feed from my heart to my doctor says otherwise.

The doc called this afternoon to ask how I was feeling. He's not seeing an improvement and has proposed a more aggressive approach...doubling the Diltiazem, then adding a blood thinner. The blood thinner is prep work for a procedure called Cardioversion. I won't lie, I hate this news.

I've felt awful for ages, I know how to deal with the physical fatigue. I'm not so confident about my attitude and I'm very wary about emotional fatigue.

I watched the movie 17 Miracles with a friend this afternoon and left desiring to get over myself and my problems, pull it all together, and get a little faith. The call from the doctor only came an hour later...and I confess, I lost my resolve.

The past few months I had become so skilled at ignoring and/or explaining away all of the symptoms...now the palpitations seem quicker, the pain feels more intense, my breath seems more difficult to catch, I'm more nauseous and more sleepy. I don't really think things have escalated, they're just more difficult to escape.

Diltiazem

It is just about 24 hours since I began taking the meds. I don't want to take them, but I can't deny that I can already tell the difference. 2 days ago my heart was beating at a violent pace with no discernible pattern. Today my heartbeat is still irregular, but it is not nearly as frantic as it was just 2 days ago.

That's a really good thing...

...except that it came from a pill. I'm having a hard time digesting the idea of having to take a regimen of meds everyday. I know it's early. I know that the docs can't determine anything unless I'm being a good patient and following protocol. I know that faith can heal a lot of things...

...so...I will work on the faith stuff.

I Don't Feel Well

Wow. What a relief it is to admit that. I don't feel well...at all. I feel like garbage. I've felt like garbage for months.

But...

Only wimps are sick. Only wimps call doctors. Only wimps are too tired to do what a normal person can do in a day.

So...

I've spent the past few months feeling physically lousy and beating myself up for it. I should sleep different hours...I should eat differently...I should treat myself for allergies...I should be tougher...I should exercise more...I should exercise better...I should, I should, I should. But I couldn't and didn't and wouldn't.

See, I was diagnosed with a heart disease when I was 13 years old. And I spent years in doctor's offices trying to understand why I didn't feel as well as my friends and family. And in the end, there was nothing that ever came from it beyond worry and excuses. So, over the years, I have learned to ignore the aches and pains and odd things that happen to my body because somewhere I picked up the notion that I wasn't worth the investigation. That I was broken. That there was nothing to be determined. That I needed to learn how to be tougher.

When historic symptoms began to flare 3 weeks ago, I began my usual regimen to address the discomfort. But my body didn't respond. So I upped the effort, the meds, the sacrifices, the discipline. But my body didn't respond. I spent the 4th of July with friends at a BBQ and fireworks and through conversation with a nurse friend, recognized that perhaps my symptoms had advanced to an impressive level. I agreed that I would follow-up with a visit to my doctor that week. The next morning, I was informed that my physician would be out of town until this next week...so, I hung up the phone and added another tactic to my regimen. By Thursday, I was really dragging and when Salty got home from a day of work at the clinic (she's a P.A.), I asked her to take a listen to my heart. She seemed surprised by what she heard, and I shrugged it off with a downplay comment about how loud my murmur was. She informed me that the murmur was there, but not alone. Having spent years listening to the sound of my heart, I took a turn...and heard something I've never heard before. I agreed to push for an appointment with my cardiologist the next day.

After a few early morning phone calls to the doc's office, I finally secured myself a 1:00 p.m. appointment. By the time 1:00 rolled around, I was feeling sheepish about pushing my way in, certain that I was overreacting and that it was just going to be more of the same with no solution. I apologized to the M.A. as she came to take my vitals. But after she recorded a severe increase to my resting blood pressure and heart rate, she rolled in the EKG, confident that the doc would absolutely want to run the test.

The doc came in and asked about my symptoms (severe pitting edema, fatigue, palpitations, shortness of breath, cold sweats, dizziness, chest pain, hoarse voice, did i mention pitting edema? what about fatigue?) and then I apologized again and said that if it was just same old, same old that I would be happy to leave...

...but it's not same old, same old. It's new and more serious than I want it to be. Atrial fibrillation is something that old people have. In fact, deciding on my treatment will be tricky because what you might be willing to do for the rest of an 80 year old's life, you don't want to do to a 36 year old for life.

I'm attached to a holter monitor for 2 weeks, I have 4 hours of tests scheduled next Wednesday, I'm waiting for a report on a full blood chem and urinalysis, I'll be scheduling a 24 hour pulse oximetry test this week, and I'm on a regimen of new drugs. I haven't taken regular prescriptions for over 10 years...in fact, as I stood in the kitchen this morning battling with the decision to start taking them, I was only convinced when Salty told me that the side effects of a stroke are worse than the side effects of the pills (man am I a sucker for a death threat!)

So now, it's a lot of waiting. And I pray for some awesome distractions to get me out of my head. Dough Boy and a neighbor gave me a Priesthood Blessing last night and I do feel an amazing sense of comfort...but it hasn't completely stopped the unexpected outbursts of tears, or worry, that creep into my mind.

Physically, I'm not well...I really don't feel good. My first emotional reaction is relief at permission to not feel well...and then every imaginable emotion races in for attention. If you read these posts with any regularity, you can expect the next weeks to be all over the place...a mixture of vulnerability and denial. It should be exciting, no???

Hello...is this thing on...?

Tonight was nutty. I drove 30 miles from Dough Boy's home to mine...and can't remember a minute of the drive. It happens sometimes when I have a lot on my mind. And usually posts happen daily with stuff on my mind. I can verify that I've started a post every single day...but have felt too tired or insecure to publish them all. I promise that tomorrow I'll fill in the blanks of the past week and give a little insight to where my mind has been.

Christy Ann

Happy Birthday Sis!!

(If you don't already, follow her here)

About Those Summer Nights...

I spent the later part of the evening at Mad Mardy's Karaoke...and that was the view! (taken by a lousy camera phone...so fill in the gaps with spectacular imagination!)

You Know You're Living the Good Life When...

Removing these:



was the toughest thing you've had to do in ages!

Good thing I found these:

Utah is Awesome: Reason #487

Kristy and I came out of the movie theater just after 9:00 p.m. tonight and it was still bright outside. In fact, at the peak, it's still been light at 10:00 p.m. Utah summer sunsets are amazing!

Paying Dues

I've identified my number one obstacle to getting into theater...paying my dues. Few performers start their career cast in the ideal show, with the ideal cast, and the ideal role. I've seen a number of performances recently that are painful to sit through...and I don't think my pride can handle it. Even if I feel decent about my own performance, I have a hard time subject others to a full production that isn't at least entertaining.

I'm a snob, right? I want the best without having to earn my way there. I'm too old to rightfully belong to the entitlement generation, so what's my deal?

Love-Love

Since I accomplished my 2011 hobby goal earlier this month, I've decided to add another hobby goal to the year...to play more tennis.

I'm not exactly sure how to quantify my skill improvement, but I know that I'll only get better by playing more often. And I can only play more often if my friends and family jump on board.

So...tennis anyone?

Trust

Friday night I re-met a tool from my past. When I mentioned to Salty that he was, in fact, a tool from my past, she commented that I seemed to have a lot of those! But she's right, I do. I rebutted that while my overall numbers seemed high, my ratio was probably no different than anyone else.

I follow Single Dad Laughing and his post today reminded me of that conversation. Dan and I share our approach to trust. In fact, I was mentally writing his summary paragraphs before I even got to reading them. As I read his set-up outlining scenarios where distrust is rampant, I kept thinking 'It isn't about trusting others! It's about trusting yourself to handle yourself regardless of others!!' I was so relieved when he got to that at the end.

The majority of the time I have no concern about whether or not I will be influenced to do something that contradicts who I am or what I believe. I don't worry about being sold something I don't want, I don't worry about being in a relationship that makes me unhappy, I don't worry about abandoning my values because someone I interact with lives differently. Does it mean that I have to say no a lot...yes. Does it mean I have opportunity to say yes even more...absolutely!

Reconciliation

Today was another installment of "My life is great and I have just about everything a girl could want". I spent the afternoon at the pool with Sassy's parents (she's out of the country and her dad invited me down anyhow, because they just love me like that)...then I had fish tacos for dinner...then I met some girls at an outdoor amphitheater for a little community Scarlet Pimpernel.

And this was kind of a slow day for me in terms of events. I really feel so lucky to be in the space I am in right now. But I know that I have some critics. And while I maintain that I am not ashamed, and feel no need to apologize, I did spend some time today asking myself how I can feel so much peace when just the notion of my situation can cause others discomfort.

My final thoughts may change on the subject, but as I get ready to lay down my head for some very peaceful sleep, this is my current hypothesis...Karma.

I am not the victim of anything...but adult style trials started showing up early in my life. The death of my brother, disease, concern about my own mortality, abandonment, standing-up alone, loneliness, disappointment - much of this before I even left the safety of my parents home. Then as I ventured out on my own I continued to bump up against life's challenges. I often lacked finesse, but I always found a way to get through it. And with each victory, I found myself more and more fatigued. And I would often plead from my knees for a break.

I know from experience that the tough moments are what make us interesting and fantastic...but I was as interesting and fantastic as I thought I could handle, and I couldn't imagine that my life necessitated continual refinement at such a chaotic pace.

And now...here I am...in this most tranquil of places. I've happily discarded my harder and grumpier coping devices in exchange for happiness and peace. I'm rarely disappointed in anything. I feel blessed and joyful many times throughout every day. I'm beginning to understand what is most important to me, and I'm willing to be made aware of weaknesses standing in my way.

I might be wrong, but I feel like this is a short break from the Refiner's Fire...and that I've earned the right to be here. I don't expect it to last forever (cause let's be honest, who doesn't want to become more interesting and more fantastic), but I do expect that I will soak up every second while it lasts!

What I Learned in Church Today: Love

John 13:34-35

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

I taught Sunday School today. It might have been a hot mess.

There was sooooooo much doctrine to cover in the assigned passages (Luke 22, John 13-15) and we barely scratched the surface. But we did scratch the portion that had stuck with me through my weeks of preparation...the commandment to Love One Another.

I have a ton of notes of things I think I see more clearly now, but in summary, I would say that the quickest way to understand how to follow the command, is to really understand God's love for us. Once we really, really get it....deep in the core of ourselves....then loving others is a piece of cake.

I'm blessed. I have been well loved in my life. I have family and friends that I have no doubt love me completely. Their examples have been a starting point for me to understand how God can love me completely. And that makes it so easy for me to love those that I meet. I don't necessarily have to approve of their choices, or even want to spend my time with them. But I can treat all of the people with kindness and make my best attempt at helping others feel some of the love that I feel in buckets.

UF9 Branch Out

I attend a congregation specific for 31-45 year old single members of the LDS church in south Salt Lake. There are so many things that could be said about this congregation...but most of those things are more fun to talk about in person! So I'll stick with some positives.

The active members of this "Branch" are diligent and hard working. Last night, the activities committee hosted a campout in Midway, UT and outdid themselves in terms of location and food!

The underlying expectation, was that we would have the opportunity to branch outside of our comfortable social circle and meet new people. That was done, I met some individuals that I had never spoken with before. Let this be a commentary on me...I was bored. By 9:30 I was hoping I could sneak off to my sleeping bag without being noticed and obtaining a scar on my super social reputation. But good things come to those who wait!

One by one, people from the branch who I knew, but not well sat down at the table for some conversation. It wasn't too long before we decided that rather than "branching out", we'd "root down" and get to know each other a little better than the superficial level that we had already established. There's something about late night, and something about being outdoor by candlelight, and something about the right combination of personality coming together for a short time that can make for some fantastic moments in life!

In just a few hours time we irreverently created inside jokes and bonds that I will always appreciate and reference! Those really are my favorite pieces of my life. I'd been asked earlier in an introduction how I would describe the ultimate Friday night. Of course I said that dancing, anyplace/anywhere, was my definition of the perfect way to pass time...but I might take that back. I might say that an upbeat playful conversation with interesting people might be my new favorite Friday night!

Disco Toes

My feet and are are loving all of the attention we've been getting since MEG accessorized us in Powell. Meggy, do share! What is the contact URL for ordering my own batch? My toes never want to be naked again!!!

It's Getting Hot in Here...

...So I took off most of my clothes. Seriously, it was a really hot day and the house was really hot, so when I got home from working out, I went tribal and took to wearing very little while I did some studying.

(or link here)

Powell Rundown (Pt. 2)

...continued

DAY 4 - Thank the heavens for ZipFizz! I would never have been able to be able to manage this hardworking day of sun worship.

SIL Kristy has introduced our family and friends to her family's Shrimp Boil tradition, and it is such a cool meal at Lake Powell (although the CDC would have definitely advised that a finger licking meal would have been a rotten idea for our quarantined boat!)

This was also Pirate Day. Given the previous nights events, and the fact that the stomach bug appeared to be contagious, our camp spot was appropriately designated "Heave-Ho Cove" for the day. A map and key and treasure box were all discovered to produce a very impressive booty box (seriously, these kids have the very coolest/creative parents and grandparents).

As soon as the kids had settled into bed, we took off quick to find enough cell service to wish our missing brother Happy Birthday. While I know he would have loved to be at Powell with us, it was hard to feel too bad for him at his Hawaiian Resort with his family and our parents.

DAY 5 - By far, the hottest day of our trip. So much so, that I put tanning second next to reading my book and even polished off a few chapters in the shade.

There was a building of a bonfire and a visit from some childhood friends and their boys who were camped in a neighboring canyon.

We were in charge of fiesta day and in addition to providing a Nacho bar, we intended to have a pinata. We had all the goodies for one, but in a boneheaded move, I failed to pick one up. I did what I could with a black garbage bag and some water balloons to create a Meekus pinata.

The evening with the kids was finished off with S'mores, a bonfire, creative lighting of fireworks and a great time had by all. Once the kids were down, the parents started their own party. There's a game we made up years ago before there were young children on our trips. After dark, the boys would use a 3-man water balloon launcher to shoot water balloons straight up above us on the deck. We'd then sit still in anticipation waiting for it to come back down. Most of the time, the sickening thud on the top of the boat was a huge moment of relief as you found yourself safe and dry...occasionally...you'd find yourself less lucky. The game doesn't work so well with sleeping babies on board...But with a fantastic rock surface as our anchor spot, we took the game to the land. As the thrill fizzled out, John felt inspired to propose a Pirate raid on our neighbor friend's boat. Although they had small children on board, they had no women and the proposal was vetted. 7 parents and 5 single's climbed into the speedboat for a moonlit adventure.

The cliff-notes version is that after some gender arguments regarding who ruined the surprise, a very echo-y diet coke cameo, some covert black ops work by John and Brett, and some creative pot stirring by the McMullin siblings, the joke was had and our side felt victorious. We have been blessed with super fun friends who are willing to be part of the joke and/or graciously take the joke and/or appreciate the joke...which means we will probably never grow up!

DAY 6 - I've mentioned sun worship on every day...but the truth is I had been religious with the sunscreen all week. My master plan was to go al natural on the final day and let it burn baby! But the thick overcast clouds had a different plan. So the day was spent doing some sightseeing with the nephews as we played tourist in the Forgotten Canyon and at the Moki Steps.

By early evening, we began preparations to wrap up the week. Phase I cleaning began and we pulled anchor and headed for Hobie Beach.

DAY 7 - This is always the day when you really pay your dues for all the fun you've had. All of my final day memories have included a hot sweaty miserable cranky morning of cleaning. In the past we have waited until the final morning to head into the marina and consequently have had the added chaos of all the bodies on board. This year, we were able to dismiss the most distant travelers, the men, and the babies and do a more time efficient and effective clean. We were done so early that we were almost at risk being too early for Stan's!

Stan's is the last tradition of the Powell trip. It's a hamburger joint in Hanksville where you're fast food deprived body can get its fix with a burger/fry/oreo shake combo meal (Thanks John!)

The drives home were uneventful, which is crazy fortunate given the drowsy state of the drivers. My narcolepsy prevention of choice...Podcasts!

Summer Solstice...Celebration!

I was too busy being fun and loving my life to actually take photographs of it.

In summary, I acquired a killer tan line during the day and soaked in the late sunset with friends at an outdoor concert.

Summer looks dang good on me!

Powell Rundown (Pt. 1)

If you've been there, well...there's nothing I can say, cause you just know. If you haven't...what?! Why?! Go!!!!!!!

DAY 1 - Wow....Utah is so beautiful. God's country. The extended winter and rainy spring has made our deserts bloom. The perfect scenery for a long solo drive...belting along with my favorite CDs, of course. Good thing I was on such a high when Ranger Roberts ticketed me for speeding. Was I, yes. 6 miles over the limit. Boo.

I shook it off and met the boys at the beach just like we planned and we were off to the houseboat as the boys entertained me with stories of the previous night's vomit (2 of my nephews).

It wasn't long before the night was shattered by a scream from the oldest of my nephew. His forehead caught the edge of an oar and there was an emergency boat ride to shore for stitches. The remaining Denney's gathered around on the top deck for some fun catching up as we waited for the patient to return.

DAY 2 -We set out early on the ski boat, but the "perfect spot" for a houseboat caught our eye just around the corner from our current spot so a few of us were dropped off on shore to hold the spot while the rest of the crew went back to pull anchors and relocate the whole production. I won't pretend that I did much more than catch mad rays the rest of the day.

We were treated with a visit from "Meekus" in the evening. Meekus is the Lake Powell monster that eats naughty children. Fortunately, our kids had all been obedient...mostly...and we were spared a monster feast.

DAY 3 - A few of us took off for some tubing in the mid-morning. As we started up the boat, there was a weird beeping noise and we took some time to check fluids and make sure there were no problems. We didn't get far from camp before we saw 8 foot swells and a dust cloud. An enormous chunk of canyon wall had come sliding down into the lake. We were torn between pulling in the tubers and getting out of danger's way. Big credit goes to my bro who maneuvered through the swells to get the boat, passengers, and tubers back to calmer waters. We raced back to camp to check on the houseboat only to find them in panic and screaming "TSUNAMI" (aka "Salami!"). The water had receded from the shore and there was a panic about equipment damage. Once we confirmed that we and our neighbors were safe, it became just a really cool thing to have witnessed.

That evening John and Christy hosted a Jersey Shore dinner with an Italian feast and a mandatory Guido/Guidette hairstyle for all. We followed it up with mafia style minute-to-win-it. Good times!

There was a teenage boy with us who had been fighting a headache all day...just as we settled in to our sleeping bags for the night, he started puking over the side of the houseboat...every 30 minutes...like clockwork. It was impossible to sleep through. And then it escalated when a 2nd teenage boy joined the puke party...but he was off by 15 minutes...and he puked with less finesse...the sound effect reminded me of a demon exorcism. John hadn't realized that a second guy had joined the efforts and by morning was concerned that the kid might have died from so much violence!

(to be continued...i'm sleepy...still working off the lake powell jet lag i guess?)

My Dad's the Greatest Guy...

He really is so cool. And maybe I've never given him enough credit for that. Having just spent a week in Lake Powell without him I really missed his natural gift for being fun, having fun, and instigating fun.

I take full responsibility for the years when we weren't best buds...those teenage years can be rough on a girl. As I've matured, I've found a great friend and confidant in my father. Although others will often tell me I'm just like mom (thanks for the confidence, and great hair/skin!), I actually have inherited a lot of who I am from my dad (thanks for the professional integrity, and desire to be obedient!

He's no ordinary man...and I'm an extraordinarily blessed daughter.

Rodeo

A crazy thing happened to me on the way home from Powell...

...I got talked into Strawberry Days Rodeo.

I was tired and G-O-O-F-Y, but maybe that made for even more good times!

(kimi d, the husband, sassy, jess, brad)

If you're reading this...

...then something terrible happened to me at Lake Powell. Something terrible, like an overload of fun and I'm just too exhausted to try and post something tonight!

Or This....

So when I'm not busting a move to Janet, I'm working an Adele tune. This one has been popping out of me at the most unexpected moments...

...or click here!

Hijacked!

...by Youtube...because you know you can't go there to see just one video. And this song has been stuck in my head for days!

...or click here!

An Oldie, but a Goodie!

...or click here!

Facebook Friending

I am weird about Facebook friending...in a "that is not consistent!" kind of way. See, when it comes to making friends in the flesh, well, let's just say that I'm a pro. I'm not afraid of strangers, I'm interested in other people, and my interest in others usually leads to me being interesting to them. When I go to a new place or event, I make a point to meet 2 new people....and really, really meet them. Meet them well enough that the next time we see one another, I can ask a follow-up question in regards to the topic of our earlier conversation. I rarely hesitate to initiate, I think it's fun to make new friends!

But online, I'm...weird. I rarely extend a Friend Request. And I rarely accept a Friend Request from someone I wouldn't introduce to my family as an actual friend. I don't care a bit about my friend count and I'm constantly considering a clean-out of the folks who sneaked their way into the mix. What is that all about? It's not like my "news feed" is an exclusive party list, right?

John 13:34

My upcoming Sunday School lesson is centered around this verse of scripture:

John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

I'm glad I have two weeks for my preparations, because my first attempt might be a disaster. See, I'm going to journal my week at Lake Powell from this perspective. Truth is, I really do love the people going on this trip...but I have learned that even the most lovable of people can get on my last nerve after 6 days on a houseboat! Not because they are necessarily less lovable, or because they've become more annoying, but because I've been on a houseboat for 6 DAYS!

I'm a single girl in charge of my world and my time and I can come and go or not at my own leisure. Because I've played the loner role for so long, I can easily begin to feel suffocated....so this is going to be an awesome experiment for me. I don't expect it will cure my short fuse moments...I'm just hoping that it will minimize the frequency, length, and intensity when they do happen!

Unplugged

Adding a new level to my current sabbatical, I'm going unplugged for the next 6 days...no phone, tv, email, facebook, text messages! Not even Words with Friends. Don't be silly, I'm not making some kind of social commentary, or even trying to issue myself a challenge. No, I'll be in God's Country, aka Lake Powell with family and friends. Don't worry about me, I will have never been finer!

(p.s. While I won't be contributing to this blog real-time, I do have some scheduled nuggets in the queue!)

Remember when...

I had my showcase for my vocal theater class? And after my "Mock Audition" my dad said that I was the "Complete Package"....that was awesome!

Shupe

I know that the calendar says it's summer, and the warmer weather suggests that it is summer, and that I did spend 6 hours at the pool last Saturday, and I have a wicked tan...but it just doesn't feel like summer has really begun until the Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband show at the Sandy Amphitheater.

I feel so lucky to have become a part of this family of friends. Even though I wasn't there when it all began, I feel loved as though I had been. These are some of the most fun and sincere friends a girl could have!

Busty

A conscious decision not to Google the answer to my question: Has the music industry produced a response to Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls" for those of us who lack there and more than make up for it in the north? Fergie's "My Lumps" is the only thing I can think of off the top of my head...and I think she's just paying homage to the Kardashian types who have it going on all over the place.

The reason that this is the topic on my mind is because I had an exhausting afternoon searching for swimsuit tops. I currently own some pretty great tops that give me no concern when I'm lounging by the pool in the company of adults...but knowing that I'm spending the entire of next week in a bathing suit surrounded by nephews motivated me to search for full(er) coverage.

In the land of modest clothing, you'd think it would be a cinch! But you'd be oh so wrong! After much work, I found something in the most unlikely of places but I'm optimistic that it will result in minimal cleavage fascination.

Boys! They start young, don't they?

I'm a Lucky Auntie!

#10

SYTYCD

I am a grown woman. I should be ashamed to make this confession...but I'm just not.

I cry during every episode of So You Think You Can Dance. Not during the manufactured sappy moments where they try to exaggerate a back story into a tear-jerker...but during the moments of success. Every time I see one of the dancers achieve an aspect of their dream, I just get so glassy in the eyes.

I know it's motivated by crazy jealousy...I realize that when it comes to dance, it's too late for me. But I imagine, for just that brief second that it could be me, and I can get emotional. I think it might be similar to the sports moments that choke up my father. I guess this acorn didn't fall far from her daddy's tree.

V-8

It's a shame that Sassy and The Husband didn't drink a V-8 today...that position can not be good for the posture!

Home Sweet Hip-Hop Home

Remember when instead of saying that I made really good caramel corn, I told people that I taught Hip-Hop? Remember the first time I met my SIL and she recognized me as the Hip-Hop instructor? Remember when those 2 hours of my life were my most favorite in the week? Ya, I remember it too.

Remember when a couple of years ago, after many years MIA to the world of dance, I attended a class as a student and became painfully aware that somewhere along the line, I had become that out of touch older lady fumbling in the back corner? That was a dark, dark day.

So it came as a surprise to even myself when I purchased a pass to drop in at a class at a dance studio in SLC! A friend came with and I was very concerned that I was going to be caught without my groove. But that funky girl who I love so much, well I think she's still in there somewhere and she was scratching to come out tonight. I really do love to dance. I know that I've chronologically missed my window of opportunity, but I refuse to just give it up altogether, I need that in my life!

What I Learned in Church Today: Testimony

Last week I asked a question to Salty, "Can you have a testimony about Satan?"

In Mormon Doctrine, a testimony is explained as follows:

A testimony of the gospel “is received when the Holy Spirit speaks to the spirit within [us]; it comes when the whisperings of the still small voice are heard.

So I think the answer is yes, you can. I believe that the Holy Spirit will absolutely speak truths to us regarding the Adversary, but after a week of study, I realized how short-sighted the question was. I don't think that I would be recognizing the whisperings of a still, small voice regarding Satan, if I didn't already have a testimony of the Savior. As I become more aware of the temptations and snares of Satan in my life, I can easily trace that awareness back to truth or wisdom for which he is attempting to distract.

I believe that testimony of doctrine is constantly growing and being shaped. I believe that testimony requires awareness, work, and vigilance on our part so that it becomes ever stronger. I believe that the Holy Spirit will speak to us and confirm things of all nature...even Satan...if it will help us to grow and understand the Father and the Son on a more intimate level.

Aaaaah! Those Summer Days!

As I walked out to great my good friend, I couldn't help but shout out, "Hello Lover" to the pool! It might sound like a lazy girl's pastime, but believe me when I tell you it is hard, hard work! There's so much to remember....the lotioning and oiling, the timely turning over and giving even exposure to all sides of your brown body, the staying hydrated, the ability to begin and maintain fascinating pool-side conversation....this requires a fine tuned set of skills. I believe that Sassy and I have really come into our own.

Not to mention that we had a very full morning listening to some neighbors break-up outside our windows, consuming a well-balanced breakfast (do savory and sweet count as well-balanced?), shopping for electronics and summer wardrobe, getting our "Pass Of All Passes" to the theme parks, and grabbing a lunch to take to the pool. Seriously, this might have been the hardest working day I've had in weeks!

Man! My life is goooooooo-ooooooood!

Aaaaah! Those Summer Nights!

Downtown Provo hosts a Rooftop Concert Series during the summer months...look how awesome the setting is! Salty, myself, The Husband, and Sass kicked off the first sign of a summer night by grabbing dinner and the show!

Memories worth future re-hashing include; the new couple from the dorms that were so in love they couldn't bother to remove their lips from each other's lips even while talking (barf!), how lame we are when it comes to taking group photos, and Sass's new addiction to Words With Friends.

I'm pretty sure this is simply the first in many similar evenings :)

Realization

Try as I might, marriage continues to occupy my thoughts more than I'd like. I'm not as pitiful as I used to be. I've learned to see beyond the one thing missing in my life, to appreciate all of the other awesome things. But I still spend some mental time there.

I'm not a goofy dreamer, I easily recognize that marriage presents at least as many new challenges as it does new perks. Lately, I've often thought that marriage might be too hard, and I might not have what it takes to pull it off, and maybe I'm better off alone. But today, during a quiet thoughtful moment I had the clear realization that marriage can not be that hard....idiots do it all of the time! And even seem happy and satisfied in their relationship. As I drove home this evening I studied all of the couples in their cars and kept thinking, "they seem to be doing alright".

I guess the secret might just be finding my idiot match!

Ahhhhh....Spring!

The weather is warming? No? The weather is threatening to warm? No? The calendar suggests it should be warmer? No? Well, the public doesn't care about the rain and snow and fall-like temperatures and they are busting out the short pants! And while the flowers in the ground are unable to bloom, the leg flowers are bursting out all over!

I don't get it. Why is that the most popular location for a tat? It can't be because the owner knows that one day they will be ashamed and want to hide it under pants....because yesterday I saw a 20-something dude in the gym proudly displaying his Tigger and Winnie the Pooh art. It can't be because it's a location where the owner can admire it....because that's a tricky spot, and I know, because I often miss a spot when shaving my legs. It can't be for any reason that I can come to on my own...do you know why?