Friday, May 20, 2011

Girl's Got Mad Skillz

That would be SIL Kristy with her camera. After what felt like a million photos (but was probably only 50), I have some shots that I think I can live with...at least until I can change my face (by losing more weight!). It's too late for a poll...auditions are in a few hours, but check it out:





Thursday, May 19, 2011

Vitamin D

How much is necessary? How much is too much? I've taken my Seattle Attitude to the land of artificial sun...and I think I'm addicted!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Help!

All you blog stalkers, I'm begging you to come out of hiding to share your photo taking tips! My cute SIL has offered to take my headshot photos this week but I can't bring myself to going to her house to have her pull the trigger because I HATE, HATE, HATE photos of myself. Remember?

So, I am begging you, what tricks do you know and use to guarantee a decent photo of yourself?


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Weather Forecast

Rainy. Dreary. And that's how I'm feeling. I thought I was in some kind of psychological or emotional funk...but tonight my body threatened to shut down on me. On rare occasions my body, with no obvious warning, freaks right out on me. Heart palpitations, cold sweat, paleness, the shakes, dizziness! And just about the moment that I think it's gone on long enough to justify a trip to the doc...it's gone.
Can this sad, sad weather have that much influence on on my body?!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Community Theater

I am spoiled with lots of opportunity to attend high quality theater. I go so often that I'd completely forgotten how painful it is to sit through community theater...but I was reminded tonight! Ouch!

Bless their hearts. It wasn't all bad, but it was bad enough that I had to confess to myself that if I can't make it big, then I'm not passionate enough about performing to make it small.

Does that make me a snob? Yes, yes it does. It also makes me question that performing could be the thing that fills the big, gaping hole I feel in my soul.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

What I Learned in Church Today: The Essentials

I started today longer than usual on my knees. I am definitely feeling lost. Perhaps it's my ADD approach to trying to "find" myself? I feel like I'm knocking on a million doors and getting no answers. So my lengthy plea was to be reminded of who I am.
Logically I know the answer to that question, I am a child of God. But I'm not feeling as special as that statement sounds. I need a hefty reminder. I think I got a good hint as to how to find the answer.

I was asked to populate three categories in relation to my spiritual health:
  • Essentials
  • Importants
  • Nice to Haves
It was surprising to realize how much time I've been spending in the Nice to Haves category....and, consequently, how little time I'm spending in the Essentials and Importants. I might try to argue that it's rehab for ignoring the Nice to Haves for so long...but it's not a very good argument.
It is clear to me that the reminder that I am asking for will come to me as I spend more time in the Essentials category of my life.


Saturday, May 14, 2011

Anxiety Setting In

I have one week to prepare for a huge, theatrical day next Saturday:

10:30 a.m. - Audition for "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" in SLC
1:30 p.m. - Mock audition with comedic and dramatic monologues in SLC
7:00 p.m. - Audition for "Drowsy Chaperone" in Orem

AND I need to finalize a resume and bite the headshot bullet.

I keep telling myself that it's about meeting the goal of auditioning...that it's not about getting a role or even a callback...that it's the experience and not the success that matters. I totally am not buying what I'm selling! I'm crazy nervous.

What was I thinking?

Friday, May 13, 2011

T.V.

(The group I went with...we have funky zombie eyes)


I was on T.V. today...much more than I wanted to be.

A friend offered tickets to a studio audience and wooed me with phrases like door prizes, raffles, give-aways (queue visions of Oprah size generosity here). It was interesting to see things from a behind the scenes perspective. And we were VIP, so we definitely experienced perks...but our VIP seating came with a curse...direct view of us for most of the show. Blech!


Thursday, May 12, 2011

Sales

1.) I'm good at it
2.) It pays really well
3.) Offers come with zero effort on my part
4.) They seem to be 98% of the available positions I find

Have I lost my mind thinking I can escape this career path?


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Bummer

One of the things that helped me to feel some confidence in unemployment was having paid off my car loan and not having that expense every month...but, I should have known better!

$1,200 in needed repairs! And not the kind a girl is supposed to ignore." Timing belt" doesn't sound like such a big deal, but the word on the street is it's no joke.

Deep breath........deep breath..........deep breath.........

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

On a Dare

I went with my boys to dine on Ethiopian food...

One of the boys posted the photo to his Facebook page and received the following response:
"was that before or after you ate it?"

Monday, May 9, 2011

Fast Five

Last week, my crew and I saw the fifth installment to the best 5 episode movie series of all time!

Check it out here:


and here:

Sunday, May 8, 2011

What I Learned in Church Today: Divinity of Motherhood


I was blessed to come to a fantastic woman who took seriously, her role as our mother. She was involved in every aspect of our lives...even when we weren't aware of it! I have never doubted for a moment that her every move was in my best interest. Being loved by her taught me exactly what motherly love means.

So, who would be surprised to hear that I long for the opportunity to love the way that she loved? Sometimes, when the absence of the opportunity is breaking my heart, I pray for the desire to be removed from me. I've met women who have no interest in becoming mother's, so I know it's possible...I just haven't figured how to get to that place on my own.

But, how can I expect that the most divine part of who I am would ever be suppressed?

I'm lucky to have been taught how to be a great mom by my earthly mother and equally lucky to have been given the divine desire to become that great mom by my Heavenly Mother.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Genius Marketing Tactic

Some men can be soooooooo creative!

This afternoon a friend sent a mass email through Facebook:

A girl I know in Houston (met her at one of the single conferences I went to. Known her for 3-4 years), asked if I knew any ladies to set one of her friends up with.
He is looking for a date to the U2 Concert. She said she is a nice guy, just a little nerdy. So if anyone is willing to take a risk and contact a guy, there is a U2 concert ticket and probably dinner in it for ya.

Hysterical and genius, right? The guy is bloody brilliant! Without paying an $80 monthly membership fee, he just got something better than an eHarmony account! He'll have an army of women vying for his attention!

Out of curiosity, and an impulsive fascination with gambling, I sent the following:

I just got an email from a friend, of a friend of yours asking me to reach out to you because you're looking for a party companion to a U2 concert...and I think you might be the smartest man in the world!
So, what are you going to do now that your in-box is flooded with emails, and you have more options than you can possibly know what to do with?
For the purposes of the concert, you probably should know that I'm not afraid to sing or dance along in public...which, depending on your preferences, might make me the very best, or very worst option.
I also have exceptional hygiene and know how to have a mean conversation...anything else you want to know, just ask!

Zero expectation, but you know if he responds, I will sooooo blog about it!

Friday, May 6, 2011

B!#@7 Wives

Awhile back I blogged about an article suggesting a short list of reasons why a woman older than 30 is still single, the first being that the woman is a bitch. But (shameful confession next), I've been taking advantage of some of my free time to catch up on Bravo's Real Housewives and those chicks are wicked! Seriously awful, whiny, manipulative, vapid, ungrateful, bitchy women...with handsome, rich husbands?!

So...I don't get it. What's the appeal of a witchey woman?

Was she that way in the beginning? Is there something about the abuse and drama that is attractive to men? Or were these women charming and charitable until after the "I dos"?

I need to know! If that's what attracts a man, then I need to get less sleep, starve myself to anger, and learn to see only myself in the world. I think those things will get me to bitch, faster than any other method. I'll miss happiness and laughter, but I'll be able to beat my husband into submission and use his bank account to finally get the extensions I've always wanted!

But, if bitchiness is just a symptom of marriage...well then, maybe I'm not all that interested anymore!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Google Exodus

Okay! Okay! I know my comedic timing is all off and Passover already happened, but I got a good laugh and thought you might too:


Or link to it here: http://youtu.be/BIxToZmJwdI

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

100 Days

A Facebook friend recently extended a challenge to do something noteworthy over the next 100 days. It's been a good benchmark for me to consider...I am beginning to see how imperatively I need some direction in my life.
There are some goals that I have made my priority for this time in my life, but I had yet to set hard deadlines for these achievements. Day 1 was April 30...I'm 5 days in and have some specific targets outlined, which is a good start.
By August 7 I will:
  • Have reached a new goal weight
  • Completed 2 University Independent Study Courses
  • Auditioned for a stage production
  • Decided on my next job/career
  • Kissed a new boy
Any assistance is greatly welcomed...especially in the kissing department ;)

What would you like to accomplish in 100 days?

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Professional Head-shot

This year my goal for hobbies/pastimes is to audition for a stage play. I've been taking theater classes and loving it, but it's about time to put it all to practice and put it out there. But I'm terrified. In large part because of a goal from 2010 that I failed to meet.

Auditions require a head-shot. But I hate photos of myself. There are maybe a handful of pictures that don't thrust me into a deep self-hate. So for 2010 I decided that I would either, change the things about myself that I disliked or learn to love myself the way that I am. Well...I didn't. My stomach still turns every time someone whips out a camera. While I have become incredibly skilled at dodging the camera lens, I have learned to not make a big fuss when I get caught in it's range...it's just caused me to develop a quick "untag" reaction to offending FB photo posts.

In addition to harboring a long list of things about my image that disgust me, I also honestly believe that I am not photogenic. Many times I will see a decent reflection in the mirror and then have to repress nausea when viewing a photo taken just moments later. I even had a professional photographer tell me last summer that she could make anyone look glamorous...but the final image was atrocious! There have to be tricks to looking good in photos...but I have a LOT to learn!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Volunteer

I got a persuasive text message yesterday afternoon:
"Church dairy downtown, 1:00-5:00. How men everywhere. Shirtless hot men. You bottle milk with them...the hot men."
So I agreed to go.

It wasn't at all like the sales pitch. We gathered at a warehouse where we cut and packaged 1 lb blocks of cheddar cheese. There were no "hot men" and the average men who were there, were wearing heavy sweatshirts as we were working in a refrigerated storage room.

But! It was a pleasure to serve. Everyone was kind and friendly and it felt good to contribute to society somehow.

The LDS church does so much in terms of Humanitarian work and I am grateful to have the opportunity to be a small part of the large work they do!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

What I Learned in Church Today: Plan A

A common strategy for dealing with disappointment in life is to give up on Plan A and come up with a Plan B. Today it was addressed many times that there are no various Plans to develop. Our life has one plan, and it is the best plan design for our needs and personality...the plan most likely to help us return to our Heavenly Father...the plan we are living right now.
There is a ring of truth to that. I think that part of the expectations I have for myself in my current circumstances is to get comfortable with my life's plan and to see how I can make the most of what I have.
Lately I've been more aware than usual of my tendency to focus on what seems to be missing rather than celebrating all that is not missing. Making the most of my plan will come as I increase my ability to be grateful for all that I have.


"In the premortal existence, Heavenly Father prepared a plan to enable us to become like Him and receive a fulness of joy. The scriptures refer to this plan as "the plan of salvation:, "the great plan of happiness", "the plan of redemption", and "the plan of mercy". The plan of salvation is the fulness of the gospel. Because of this plan we can be perfected through the Atonement, receive a fulness of joy, and live forever in the presence of God.

We are now experiencing mortal life. Our spirits are united with our bodies, giving us opportunities to grow and develop in ways that were not possible in premortal life. This part of our existence is a time of learning in which we can prove ourselves, choose to come unto Christ, and prepare to be worthy of eternal life. It is also a time when we can help others find the truth and gain a testimony of the plan of salvation."

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Vocabulary

I'm a little sensitive about my vocabulary. I only scored in the 35th percentile when tested last week. I have some goals and tools to help quickly improve my vocabulary. Watching just a few minutes of the Royal Wedding coverage, I've already picked up two new words that I hope to be inserting into common conversation: Telly (aka television) and Knickers (aka underpants)

Friday, April 29, 2011

Close Call

I fly more often than the average American. This means I have some awesome travel stories...like the time my seat neighbor peeled hard boiled eggs mid-flight, or the time a drugged up goofball touched me inappropriately in his "sleep" and ruined my first-class red-eye. It also means that I've had my luggage misplaced more often than I think is expected...and at the very worst times! It also means that I've had to prep my seat pocket with easy access to the air sickness bag a few times...today was one of those days. But with the help of a podcast and 20 Altoids, I was victorious!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Fertile Myrtles!

All my recently married girls are getting recently pregnant! Found out today that my passport pounding home girl is fighting through maternity! I am loving all of the happy news!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Geographical Magic!

Notice how there isn't anything supper great on the map between Salt Lake City and Denver? Ya, I'd like to just get rid of that space and make the two neighboring cities. It would really help me out a TON!

I have had the freedom to catch up with so many friends face to face, and that kicks the tar out of trying to keep in touch digitally! I become more and more appreciative of the environment in which I grew up. In addition to having an extra-ordinary home life, I was raised by a village of incredible people who love me and celebrate with me. The love and support from them is constant and unapologetic, and I recognize that it is a gift that many people never experience.

But having tasted it for a few days, I've become spoiled and want more! I don't know that I'm ready to give up on Salt Lake, and I'm not convinced that Denver is the correct "next step"...my little cartographic brain is trying like mad to shorten the distance between the two to create my own little Utopia!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

It's Still "Woody's" To Me


Healthy eating be damned! When in Denver, you must eat like the Denverites!

Hey brothers, should we open a franchise in SLC?

Monday, April 25, 2011

JOCRF


Aptitude testing can be helpful to people in many stages of life; upcoming high school graduates, college students searching for the right major, mid-life crisis sufferers (hello!), recently retired...really, anyone who wants to identify their strongest skills in an attempt to make decisions about what to do with their life in regards to education, career, pastimes, volunteer efforts, you know...anything.


I L-O-V-E-D the experience! The researchers are amazing women who I would love to spend time with personally or professionally. The tests are very fun...I really wanted to take them home and share them with my family. The lessons learned are...well...I guess it's different for everyone.

I'd read an article written by someone who had scored high in nearly every aptitude. There was something about what I read that gave me a lot of anxiety...I was worried that it might be my story as well. See, my hope was to find my one or two strongest aptitudes to assist in narrowing down my options. However, I scored high in a majority of the aptitudes and found myself as direction-less as I began.

One thing was clear, my current career path was evidently a poor choice. It took a year of increasing stress and frustration for me to leave such an obviously bad job for me. And here I am with a computer printout full of promise but feeling completely useless. I'm meeting with the researchers again tomorrow with 2 intentions:

1.) When I received the results of my test, I was "married" to my job and had a hard time seeing myself doing anything else. I also was too terrified to do something as crazy as leaving a stable career...so I didn't get as much out of the consultation discussion. Now that I find myself free to do absolutely anything, I'm optimistic that I'll be able to ask better questions and hear better answers.

2.) On my 3rd day, I was asked if I had interest in working for the Foundation. I was absolutely interested, but the geography was my only hold-up. As much as I would love to return to Colorado some day, I'm still convinced that my marrying odds are best in SLC and I just wasn't ready to make the change. I did send a letter of intent to the director, and took her silence as an indication that there wasn't an opportunity for me at the time. I've thought of the opportunity many times over the year and want to discuss the possibility of opening a center in SLC.

I'm optimistic that tomorrow evening I'll have the beginnings of a plan for the next steps...(I hope! I hope! I hope!)

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Saturday, April 23, 2011

High School Reunion - Pt. II

After spending most of the day with Watterson clan members who warm my heart and soul and never skimp on compliments, I found myself crashing the birthday party of an old school mate. It was fun to see so many people. I love that Facebook has kept so many of them in touch. And I love that with age and maturity, a majority of my teenage insecurities melt away as I have the chance to reconnect with some of those old friends.

Definitely loving the visit home!

Friday, April 22, 2011

High School Reunion - Pt. I

A last minute text message found me at the home of two good friends from High School, the Girons. Schenck and Lopez were there too. It was so great to sit around and share memories and insults and laugh and laugh and laugh to tears! It almost is enough to move back to Colorado for!!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

NZT


I want me some of that drug!

Although it occurred to me that if I just optimized the 20% of my brain that I supposedly do have access to, I'd be impressively improved!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

mmmmmmmmmMassage!

I'm such a good (and selfish) daughter...this is how Sheri and I started my first day home...nice, eh?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Home Sweet Home

Unemployment perk #1: Spending 10 days in Colorado with family and friends!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Mosiah 18:8-9

And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light;
Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

My prayers and thoughts continue to be with the family of Lorne Schmunk.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

What I Learned in Church Today: Sharing Joy

One of today's speakers shared a story of a friend who battled severe physical obstacles for 37 years but only ever passed on joy into the lives of others. And it's left me wondering...what do I pass on to the lives of others?

For some reason, it's the challenges and frustrations that seem the most fun to talk about. As a storyteller of sorts, those make the very best stories. And those very best stories tend to satisfy all audiences. So those are the stories I tell.

I have to wonder if any "joy" is passed on in those moments. Sure, there are a few short-lived moments of hilarity and/or entertainment, but are those conversations enriching the lives of the hearers? Are my values and beliefs being communicated?

I have so much, and I think of myself as a generally happy person...but I have to wonder...do those around me know that? Is that what I share with them? Do I leave those around me feeling uplifted?

Saturday, April 16, 2011

More Musical Theater:

Guess what this semester's musical choices are!?


Friday, April 15, 2011

FFx5

In preparation for this upcoming cinematic gem:


A small group of shameful, yet unashamed, friends escaped for a marathon of Furious proportions. We took detailed notes of crucial plot features including fantastic one-liners listed below. Honestly, after ingesting all of that, I'm legitimately convinced that I can write a screenplay with some level of success!

Some of these stand alone, but admittedly, some require context (which I'm too sleepy from the all-nighter to detail):

The Fast and the Furious
  • I smell skanks....better leave before I put treadmarks on your face.
  • This is yours whether you win or lose...but if you win, you get her too.
  • You can't detail a car with the hood on.
  • I live my life a 1/4 mile at a time.
  • Ok...go time!
2 Fast 2 Furious
  • He did the "stare and drive" on you, didn't he? He learned that from me.
  • We hooongry!
  • Look at the bubble on that!
  • It's gettin' real thick real quick!
  • I got a problem with 'thority!
  • If I was makin' money I'd get that mole removed from my damn nose!
  • Guns, murderers, and crooked cops...I was made for this bro!
  • You're a good driver, man!
  • Don't drop the soap big homie!
Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift
  • It's not the ride, it's the rider.
  • Why don't you nice boys let your cars do the talking?
  • Winner...gets...me...
  • Can I get a copy of that?
  • Hey mammy, you sexy...hey mammy, you sexy...hey mammy, you sexy
  • A nail that sticks out, gets hammered.
  • This is my Mexico.
  • I have money, it's trust and character I need around me.
  • For want of a nail, the horseshoe is lost...
Fast & Furious
  • Ride or die!
  • Maybe you're the good guy pretending to be the bad guy, ever think about that?
  • This ain't the cub scouts!
  • Now go on, your bleeding on my floor.
  • Sorry car.
  • The thumb print is for the boss, the cell number is for me.
  • To the ladies we've loved, and the ladies we've lost.
  • I'm one of those boys that appreciates a fine body regardless of the make.
  • You looked under my hood?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Unemployment Perk: #4,728

Mid-week escape to Sundance for a guilty-pleasure movie marathon!

If I get over the "guilt" I might tell you what we're watching :) (Pssst...it might have something to do with Vin Diesel).

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Library

One of my favorite series of childhood memories come from the Adams County Public Library. My mom would take us fairly regularly and it felt like we would leave with at least a dozen books each! Sometimes, she'd spoil us with a "three olive thing" (an Enchirito...they used to come garnished with 3 sliced olives along the top) from Taco Bell on the way home.

I loved the tradition so much that I remember trying to recreate it with Dough Boy after I got my license...it didn't really take.

And I don't think I've had a public library card since I was 16 years old.

Last week, while at the Carl Bloch exhibit at BYU, I popped into the Adam Bateman exhibit and saw this:


...and it really whet my appetite for books and that real good old book smell that only comes from library books.

So I finally stopped in today and got my Library Card! In addition to all of the nostalgia, I've realized what a smart fiscal resource this is! Books and DVDs and CDs and Periodicals and Cookbooks and AMAZING PEOPLE WATCHING!!!! I may never pay for entertainment again!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

BEST NEWS!!

My bestie from the college days, K.P., called tonight with the very best news...she's expecting her first baby! I LOVE IT!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Blind

Apparently I'm a failure when it comes to some social observations. It was recently pointed out to me that a very handsome man had been making a pass at me...and I responded with a friendly introduction and a "brushoff".

I'm so well practiced in the art of being rejected that I anticipate it regardless of the other person's true intent. (I'm sure the chant isn't helping!).

This all leads to me maybe, or maybe not, having a date on Wednesday. After it all plays out, either Salty (thinks it is) or myself (thinks it isn't) will be crowned foolish.

Saturday night, Salty and I attended a birthday party. She and I were sitting on the couch with a male friend...Salty was sitting in the middle. Mid-conversation, the male friend asks "Do you want to catch a movie Wednesday night?" and I immediately respond with "Salty can't go that night..." and she immediately cuts me off with "He wasn't asking me". Awkward....

But....he clearly wasn't asking me specifically....right? wrong? All I know for certain is that he'll be here at 6:00 Wednesday night to pick me up alone. I'm convinced it's an outing of friends...others are convinced it's a date...we all agree that if he pays for the tickets, I can count it for April's date.

I need a dating coach. I can dish it, but it's becoming more obvious that I can't take it.

**Updated to confirm that I'm the fool. It's been rescheduled for Saturday and it is a date. I'm so thickheaded.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

What I Learned in Church Today: Attitude (re-visited)

On the first Sunday of every month, the congregations of our church Fast together. It can be an opportunity to focus your prayers and thoughts and faith...or, if you take a lazy and unprepared approach, it's an opportunity to go hungry for 24 hours.

Because last week was our broadcast General Conference, our congregation postponed our organized fast to this Sunday...which I did not prepare for and realized late on Saturday evening. I always believe that there is value in obedience for obedience's sake...but man, does obedience for love's sake trump it! My lame approach left me flipping through my mental cookbook dreaming of spaghetti and sandwiches.

So while no formal lesson was learned from those at the pulpit, I was reminded that I so much more enjoy a prepared Fast.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Giveaway!

Not mine of course...I can't think of anything I have that anyone would want...except for my friends, and I'm not willing to give those up.

But my friends have cool stuff! Check out my homegirl Sari:

Friday, April 8, 2011

The King's Speech

I know! I know! So un-cool to be so un-timely...but the PG-13 version just hit Utah theaters and...amazing. A must see!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Ms. Jackson!



How did I miss this? Clearly I've lost focus on what is truly important in life!!

Who wants to road trip to Vegas???? Dead Serious!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

He'll Never Love You

I'm feeling a little longing for my former "crush". I had hoped that time and space would do what time and space has always done, and that I'd be soooooo over it by now. But this was a good one, and he's still got some hold on me.

The worst part is that in an effort to keep from slipping back into old habits, I've adopted the following mantra:

"He'll never love you. He'll never love you. He'll never love you..."

Logically I know it's a terrible line to have running, marquee style, through my mind. But I don't know what else to do as I resist the urge to do what I can to go back in time.

So I'll wash my face, and brush my teeth, and climb into bed chanting "He'll never love you" as I drift off to sleep...

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Fear of Commitment

I think I have a case of commitmentphobia. Which seems strange to apply to a girl who has dedicated her whole life to religious and spiritual commitments that many believe are impossible to "commit" to.

There are two excerpts from from Wikipedia's page "Fear of Commitment" that caught my attention:

1.) Fear of commitment in much popular literature refers to avoidance of long-term partnership and/or marriage but the problem is often much more pervasive, affecting school, work, and home life as well.

2.) The key to understanding commitmentphobia is recognizing that such behavior is rooted in fear—fear of lost options or fear of making poor decisions. The commitmentphobic mind sees decisions as permanent, opening the possibility of being caged or trapped forever with no means of escape.

Um...not a shocker. I can't commit to buying a home, a career path, a hairstyle. I've been able to avoid consumer debt because I rarely commit to a clothing/shoe purchase. I reply to many social invitations with a "I'll try my best to make it!" because I just can't be locked in.

So I circle back to my first observation...How have I managed to commit so fully to a lifestyle considered restrictive and controlling by many and never feel caged in by those decisions?

Monday, April 4, 2011

The Domestication of Kimi D

Do schools even offer, let alone require, Home Economic classes anymore? It was required core curriculum at Westlake Junior High in Broomfield, CO for all 7th graders...along with Shop Class and Art Class and Keyboarding. Of the four, Home Ec was my favorite. Probably because I came to the class so well trained.

THANKS MOM!

I don't remember formal lessons from my mother, but I have a hard time remembering back far enough when I wasn't helping with domestic chores. And I don't believe that there is a better way to teach. There aren't any homemaking tasks that totally freak me out or present an obstacle I can't tackle...that's some gooo-oood mothering, no?

I've been settling in to the new place and it's required some dusting off of skills I'd forgotten. But they return so easily and I'm so grateful that I have them. I'm especially thankful for the confidence I've been given in the kitchen. The ability to take what is available and create a healthy and tasty meal is invaluable, and once again, something I can attribute to Sheri.

I'm a very lucky girl!

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Conference Weekend

Every six months, the general membership of the LDS faith has the opportunity to hear counsel from the leadership of the church. The talks are Christ centered and the majority of the message is easily applied to members of our faith and those who are not.

This weekend was our April 2011 session and as I sit in reflection, I find myself in an ironic combination of inspiration and anxiety. Inspiration because these weekends provide the time and focus I need to inventory my priorities and then apply the counsel in pursuit of those things. Anxiety because I measure short in most of the areas that are important to me.

But I have maturity on my side this round. And I think I'm better understanding what it means to experience the ride of life...To learn from the disappointments...To celebrate in the victories...To acknowledge a constant increase in the good in my life.

So, I'll take these nuggets of insight and apply what I can...And look forward to becoming closer to who I want to be in time to start the process again in October!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

iLoveIt!

Turns out I'm a late bloomer in more than just the romance category. I'm embarrassed that it has taken me so long to understand what the world of Podcasts has to offer! I am in loooooooove!

It all started with frustration around NPR's "Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me". I could so rarely schedule the 11:00 a.m. Saturday air time into my week. But I craved it because....well, if you've heard an episode you get it, right? Intelligent, informed wit! Sexy right?

Anyhow, I thought perhaps these mystical Podcasts might include my little indulgence, but I ignorantly assumed that there would be a cost and you know where I stand on paying for things you can have for free.

Then one day, I found myself with hours and hours every day to fill up with things that I have always wanted to fill my days with, and...well, the details are fuzzy now, but I found them.. ten archived episodes!

My first obsession was to listen to every available "Wait, Wait" which I did with the intensity of an addict. But then, finding myself days away from the next airing, I went digging, curious to see what else might be out there. And guess what! There are a bajillion things you can listen to for free through Podcasts! And I have only begun to scratch the surface.

I will do a little plug and let you know that The Girl Who Writes Some Stuff (this blog), is a big fan of everything she's listened to from the How Stuff Works Podcast series. And that she's currently devouring the Stuff You Should Know archives. And she's not sure how this turned into a third person post...

So, Stuff You Should Know is totally Denney Geek Chic. Every episode makes me want to call at least one of my brothers to talk about some aspect of what I've learned. Sometimes it's near torture to have to listen alone without a chum to chat with! But today nearly killed me!

Seriously, I almost died. I was driving on the freeway listening to the 2.22.2011 episode about How Tickling Works and I started laughing...and that laughing escalated...and then the laugh tears started...and then my vision was affected....and then I really thought I needed to pull over, or pull it together, or die.

If you are ticklish, you should listen to it...but not while operating heavy machinery. It wouldn't be safe!

Friday, April 1, 2011

About Yesterday's Ugly Post...

Yesterday's post was not attractive. And while I'm sorry that I subjected even one friend to having to read it through, I have been thoughtful about it and I feel motivated to get it together soon!

Many of my recent conversations have followed this pattern:

Other Person: So what are you doing for work?
Me: I recently left my position with an internet marketing company...so between jobs I guess.
Other Person: (uncomfortably) Oh...well what would you like to be doing?
Me: Ya...so, that's the problem...I don't really know.
Other Person: (nervously) Ha ha ha...um...well, what have you always wanted to do?
Me: Dance back up for Janet Jackson.
Other Person: (relieved) HA! That's so funny.
Me: I wasn't being funny. It really is the only job I've ever dreamed about having.
Other Person: Oh...?...Um...?...Huh...

If Janet weren't retired, and I weren't middle aged, that conversation might not be so awkward.

I want to have better answers...and not really for the sake of "Other Person", but for my own sake. Ambition, drive, focus, passion...those are things I find attractive in any person (man/woman, old/young, married/single). I am quite certain others feel the same, and in that regard, I am one ugly lady these days!

So watch out! I've assembled my pre-General Conference list of questions and I am ready to be instructed!