Sunday, January 23, 2011
A good friend recently found herself in a confirmed committed relationship. She shared the news with another friend and was received with the response, "Nothing good ever happens to me!"
My first thought was, "Ew!"
What an awful response, what kind of girlfriend responds to your good news by turning it into a conversation about her own misfortune. However, as lame as her comment was, it got me thinking about the concept of waiting for something good to happen. Although the comment was poorly timed and crazy selfish, the truth is that all single girls are hopeful that a good man will happen to her!
He'll be funny and smart and interesting and will rescue us from our problems!
But what are the chances that these good men are also waiting for a good woman will happen to him?
She'll be funny and smart and interesting and give him reason to be a hero!
The thought has staying power and pops up often as I evaluate what I have to offer to a relationship. I've been making personal strides emotionally, spiritually, and socially.
The ironic thing is that the last two months the improvements have been happening at a much quicker pace. Wanna know why? Because of men who have expressed directly, and indirectly, that the think that I'm funny and smart and interesting...even (god forbid!), beautiful. So I feel funny and smart and interesting and (god forbid!) beautiful.
I've never recognized how dependent I am on others for self evaluation. And it makes me wonder why I've spent any time at all with those who make me feel lame and dumb and boring and ugly.
AND it makes me more aware of how I may, or may not, make others feel.
I want to be the good thing that happens to someone. I want to be the catalyst for changing a life for the better. I want to offer all of the things necessary to make a man feel like a hero!