I got choked up tonight...twice! Watching American Idol of all the stupid things. This has been a really tough week for me, and I'm much more vulnerable than usual...OBVIOUSLY!
The first time I felt them welling up was during a montage of Idol contestants celebrating the news that they were moving on.
I envied them. I want to live out a dream, tap into a passion, lose control in a wave of happiness! And so, my heart cheered with them, and apparently my eyes wanted to participate as well.
The second time, I fell for the heart warming story at the end of the episode. A man was living as a caretaker to his fiance who had been in a terrible accident months before their wedding. She appeared to have severe physical, and possibly mental, handicaps...yet he was just as devoted to her in sickness and in health.
I've mentioned before that the most difficult thing about being single, for me, is not having someone to love. Now, I don't know that I'm enough of a woman to take on the level of challenges that this man had accepted, but I do crave the opportunity to love, support, partner with a man who will let me love him. I think having someone to love provides me more benefit than being loved (although, these are statements from a prude who, if we're being honest...and "we" usually are, has never been properly loved).
So, it's clear to me...a good night's sleep is in order. Because crying over Idol?! well that's unacceptable!
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