Monday, February 21, 2011

Husband Hunting

When my friend Deepthi (an Indian nobel) heard that I was quitting my job, she was quick to offer her advice: "You must take this time to find a husband", she said. And she meant it. She is convinced that my social status is 100% caused by my hyper-hypo work ethic. She's equally convinced that if I were to channel that dedication into the pursuit of a spouse, I'd be married by fall.
I was quick to attribute her attitude to our cultural differences. In India the process of courtship and marriage are approached with a very similar strategy to business development. You find a list of possible ventures, you evaluate each thoroughly, yet quickly, and then you pull the trigger. Simple. Hahahahahaha! Simple!!!
But I'm beginning to wonder if maybe she doesn't have a point? Maybe I'm hopeful that she's right? Clearly, there's something inside of me that wants there to be a simple solution. To my immediate left is a bookshelf with the following titles screaming out to me: The Secrets of Winning Men, A Single Voice, Find a Husband After 35, Mars and Venus on a Date, Kissing a Frog, Better Than Beauty. And I've read them all, some more than once, expecting to find that magic component that I've somehow missed! I've signed up for eHarmony and accepted every blind date that has been arranged. I've dated men longer than I wanted in the hopes that something inside of me would suddenly switch and I'd find I'd been swept off my feet.
But the reality is I'm mostly skeptically and occasionally mildly humored...but not really convinced that I know how to make anything happen.
I need a merit badge, or a hunting license, or any kind of instruction to understand what it takes. I know that I'm far from perfection, but I bring enough to the table to be considered decent how do I get my "buck"?

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