Becoming a Better Person Is Hard

As I juggled health concerns for most of 2011 I allowed myself to become less active in participating in my church community outside of Sunday worship. I have no regrets about giving myself a break, but I also am feeling a push to become more involved. I want to always be in the process of becoming a better person. I want to be more obedient. I want to be more social and learn to rely on others without a feeling of apology in doing so.

Tonight I reluctantly attended Family Home Evening. This is an organized event each Monday evening for the members of our congregation. It is designed to give us an opportunity to socialize in a more casual environment by disguising it with spiritual or educational or "fun" activities. I wanted to leave almost as soon as I arrived. And I didn't really participate in the organized activity...I spent most of it talking with a few friends in the hallway. I didn't make any effort to meet anyone new. I kind of failed my own rules for being social.

I guess you could say that being social is like a muscle...it strengthens with use, and atrophies with neglect, and there is a sense of pain when you try to retrain it after a period of inactivity. I think I want to be a better person. I say I want to be a better person. I want to be able to accomplish that with little effort and no discomfort on my part.

Sounds like I need an attitude adjustment, doesn't it?