1/15/2012, 9:15 a.m.
This post is being heavily edited. In the light of morning I found myself embarrassed with the content. I thought I would call out some friends in a "clever" way, for displaying behavior I found to be rude, but it turns out I was just jealous. And my jealousy meant that I was reacting to their immature and bizarre behavior with my own immature and bizarre behavior...so gross!
In general, I try to avoid vague accusations. I figure if I can't articulate my thought, or find that circumstances prevent specifics, it's best just to keep my mouth shut. My apology.
With a little more thought, a good nights sleep, and a hot shower, this is what I wish I had posted:
It's interesting growing up. When I was young, I was certain that there was an adult logic, and set of behaviors that were automatic by virtue of age. I anticipated that with each passing year, my friends and myself would act with more refinement and decorum. Ha! Although I strive to behave appropriately for my circumstances, it isn't always the case...so I have no reason to expect it at all time from my friends.
And more interesting than the lack of progress in general behavior and manners is the lack of progress in my reaction. Envy and malice show up in the strangest places. I am perfectly capable of recognizing that everything isn't about me. And if something really great happens to a friend or family member, I can sincerely celebrate with that friend or family member. I don't need to spoil it by expressing regret that the really great thing didn't happen to me...I don't even have to feel regret! But still, 17 years later, I find myself jealous of the oddest things!