Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Best Kind of Therapy

This morning I decided that after all of my worries yesterday, I was going to take the day off from being "sick". I was going to think about lots of unimportant things. And where is the best place to see a lot of things that are interesting but unimportant? Correct, Facebook!

And the first thing I read was a personal message from a well-intentioned, former classmate asking:
" Are you better now, or is it something that will never really get better? "
And then I started to think, what if this never really gets better. Sure, I've imagined all sorts of horrible possible futures, and for reasons I don't understand, I'm okay with my own morbid imagination...but are others imagining a dark and dreary future for me as well?!?!

So I closed down Facebook and moved to personal email. And the first message I read was from a well-intentioned friend from church informing me that I have the exact same thing that a mutual acquaintance of ours has. Which was probably meant to provide some relief? I mean, really, how could this girl possibly know that the mutual acquaintance's most defining physical characteristic of toting oxygen, is glaringly represented in my worst case scenario in my mind?

So I closed the laptop and walked away. I thought that maybe some errands and gift shopping would help to clear my mind. I grabbed my keys, hopped in my car with a route mapped in my head....and trudged through my list as I began feeling more and more sorry for myself.

I was left with no other options, so I bought a Diet Coke with extra ice to numb the tension building in my chest. As I neared home, I picked up the mail and found a big box with my name on it! Ignoring the new stack of bills from the doctors I tore into the box to find a little mental health inside...

Dark chocolate almond bark from a friend who couldn't have better timing. I guess what I really needed today wasn't to pull it all together and be was to give in to my escalating emotions and do the only thing that feels good these chocolate.


Christy {The Girl Who Ate Everything} said...

Chocolate really does help sometimes. Something about it relaxes me. I wish you didn't have to go through this right now. It stinks and I wish I could change it! Love you!

Kristy {Sweet Treats and More} said...

Amen to chocolate therapy! Xoxo!