Sunday, August 14, 2011

What I Learned in Church Today: Passing Judgement

I actually had a lot of thoughts today and wrote down a handful of notes...but the lesson that's seems to be most glaring is the lesson I learned about my own bad behavior.

BUT...I have a really good excuse. I feel rotten. Really, really awful. Consumed with my own discomfort and fatigue, I find myself behaving badly. Characteristics that I thought were solid in my core (like patience and unconditional love) are painfully missing.

I was awful today. My mom attended church with me and after the meetings she kindly observed that I had been particularly "snarky". Then later as I was rehashing and bashing the events of the day with a friend, she made a more direct observation that the conversation wasn't particularly healthy...then advised that it not ever be done with anyone else. From that final comment, I took that what she had observed, had been less than attractive. And I hate being less than attractive!

And she's right...nothing good can come from such a judgy perspective. And why am I finding any value from that standpoint?

I am working through a physical trial right now. It's uncomfortable and it's uncertain and there is so much about it that is outside of my control. But one of the few things I can control is keeping this challenge contained to the physical realm. If I get lazy, this physical challenge could escalate to an emotional or spiritual or personal challenge as well.

Although the comment from my mom initial stung, I'm grateful that she would call it to my attention so that I can reign myself in before allowing myself to become permanently ugly and bitter.

1 comment:

Christy {The Girl Who Ate Everything} said...

Isn't it funny how sometimes our family has to bring things to our attention. My sister sometimes says blunt things that hurt but probably have some truth to them. Just makes me check myself.

Although when you feel crappy, it's hard to be happy. You're usually so upbeat so if you have a bad hour or day we all forgive you.