Sunday, August 28, 2011

What I Learned in Church Today: Making a Difference

Can one person make a difference?

This was a question posed by a speaker in our final meeting today. He answered yes, and offered the stories of many who made grand differences in history and for mankind, finishing with Jesus Christ.

I have always approached doctrine with a "So What?" attitude. The story might be nice, but so what does it mean for me? How does this shape my understanding or influence my actions? And I immediately started to wonder the "So What" of one person making a difference.

I think it's pretty typical of someone trudging through illness to feel a little hopeless in least it's been typical for me. And somehow, I've allowed a devilish narrator to take over in my thoughts. So when I asked myself, "How can I, alone, make any difference?", that devil spoke with clear confidence, "You can't". I fell for it and was immediately saddened at the idea that my life was not ever going to make a difference.

See, that's all I really want. To make a difference of some significance. But I don't know what that difference is supposed to look like or feel like and I get so frustrated!

Luckily, after briefly falling for the idea that I couldn't make a difference, I was blessed with a moment of clarity. Recognizing opportunity to make a difference is going to come when I allow the voice of The Spirit to be my internal dialogue.

The chore now, is to evict that little demon from my mind and make room for logic and reason that actually makes sense. And then I have to remain willing to accept the direction I receive and not protest if it isn't the right size or style of "difference" I imagined leaving on the world.

These thoughts are all making perfect sense to me this evening...the trick will be remembering it each of the coming days.

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