Priceline - for gadgets?

I need a new laptop - in a bad, bad way. But I'm not a techy and I'm boyfriendless (aren't they supposed to cover these items?), and I don't really know what I need vs. what I don't need. After some shopping and price comparison today, I'm stumped. I feel pretty confident that $2200 is too much, even with lifetime warranty and service (sorry PCLaptops), but what is a reasonable price? And how much laptop do I need? Should I be considering a Mac? Ugh!
So, I'm wondering if William Shatner might be available to do some price negotiation to help me get a new computer? Maybe?